Starbucks Bathroom Epiphany

Okay.  I know this is gross, but I had a little realization the other day.  I was in Starbucks and had to use the restroom.  I went in and noticed it smelled.  I thought to myself, Man, Starbucks’ bathrooms always stink.  Then I wondered why.  Then I realized why.  Starbucks is a coffee joint.  What [...]

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Wow

That’s about all I can say.  Wow.  Today I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR.  They were talking about the primaries, Edwards dropping out, how it’s all shaking down.  Anyway, this guy called in and identified himself as a “White, male Southern Democrat.”  He voted for Hillary in the primary, even though [...]

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Tales of a Grumpy Mailman

My mailman is grumpy.  He’s the grumpiest thing ever.  I have no idea what bug crawled up his butt, but it has set up residence there and makes Mr. Mailman the grumpiest mailman I’ve ever encountered.  I say hi to Grumpy Mailman, he looks at me like he wants to hit me.  Maybe he does.  [...]

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Would You Like Fries With Your News?

I do not read or watch the news.  I know there are those out there who would consider this irresponsible, and perhaps for them this is true.  But I know most of it is designed to keep my heart rate elevated and probably also to make me shop, two things I have no desire to experience [...]

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Laundry Day

So a short time back I wrote a rant on people who don’t “believe” in global warming. A man responded to my post. His blog can be found here.  I went to his site and started to read. He made me laugh and think. I went back today to read [...]

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An Exhortation to Umbrella Manufacturers–COLOR!!

I don’t have an umbrella.  I used to have one, a really nice one.  But over time it must have worn out because one day, the button to open it stopped working.  Then on another it turned inside out in the wind and came detached from the metal skeleton giving it its shape.  I have [...]

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Could it Be a Blonde-Actor Murder Conspiracy?

Has anyone noticed how much Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger look alike?  They could have been brothers.  Now they are both dead.  Maybe there is a conspiracy afoot to murder blonde attractive men.  They had the same eyes.  Weird.  I bet no one puts two and two together.  I wonder if a bunch of non-famous [...]

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Oscar Quickie

Hooray for best actor nominee Tommy Lee Jones for In the Valley of Elah and best picture nominee Juno!  Sorry to all the “shut-outs,” but we should be glad when there are “shut-outs.”  It means there were lots of good films and lots of good acting, and who can complain about that?

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Summer Shoe Longing

I went in my closet to find some longjohns to put under my overalls so I can work outside on the house and get it ready to sell.  I bent down to grab them from under a pile of work clothes (you know, the stuff you don’t care if it gets paint or caulk on [...]

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Ranting

As a bankruptcy attorney, I dealt day to day with the fallout of the “sub-prime” mortgage crisis.  It’s getting worse.  ARM loan rates go up, people have less money to pay their other bills, they get behind, call the bankruptcy attorney.  I heard story after story, helped when I could, but the system is broken.  [...]

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Restaurant Status Anxiety

What is it with servers in upscale restaurants telling patrons that everything is their’s?  What is the soup today?  Well, I have the red curry muttonchop pecan basil noodle with french onions.  You do?  Really?  Did you get that mutton yourself or did you have someone do it for you?  And tell me, is bread [...]

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Piper Killed the Snooze Alarm Button

61,872 new posts today!  I’m going to hurry and post this before writing more and see if it goes up to 61,873.  No!  It didn’t!  Bummer.  I actually thought it would flip ahead like 8000 or something.  But no.  Neither.
My daughter woke up early this morning.  Fidget. Fidget.  Then that woke up Piper. Piper is [...]

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When There is Nothing Left, Maybe We’ll Figure Out We Can’t Eat Money

I hope all the naysayers out there who want to claim climate change isn’t happening are the first ones to drown when sea levels rise.  Don’t try and tell me bees spontaneously die off en masse every few thousand centuries or that “random” changes occur up and down, and we’re just in an “up” period.  There [...]

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Brainless, but no anal probes

I wrote to my good friend Goro in Hawaii.  Because he is a fellow space creature, I asked him if he had seen the mother ship, that I was lost.  He told me had not been able to locate the ship.  He wondered whether I could take him to my leader.  I had to tell him that I have [...]

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I don’t know a damn thing

It’s funny when you realize you have entrenched ideas you didn’t even realize you had.  I realized I had this belief that wanting someone to read my writing was somehow inherently flawed.  I thought that to be a true artist, I should not care if anyone reads what I have to say.  In fact I [...]

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Why do men marry?

What makes a man marry?  I saw this headline today on Yahoo.  I’m sure they have they trot out the same boring answers, yada yada yada.  Well, I’m here to tell them that the answer is easy.  It’s a little date-rape drug women use on men called Beer.  I was made aware of this oft-abused substance [...]

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“Troubled” Actor Dies

Brad Renfro died.  Why is it this makes me so sad?  Another young actor taken by drugs.  It happens.  I loved that kid’s energy.  I noticed it early.  He just had a presence.  He was in the movie, Sleepers.  Now, there was a movie with tough material.  Unbelievable material.  He was amazing in that awful story.  Everything [...]

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Vanishing Meter REALLY Works!

Oh my gosh!  The Vanishing Meter is so damn accurate.  I completely forgot about the thing.  Then last night, I was lying in bed contemplating my latest disappearing man, remembered my red meter, and poof!  A lightbulb lit in my head.  Remember the Vanishing Meter!  This was a case where the meter was kind of [...]

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Go faster!

Today I was walking through my house to get to the back porch to feed my dogs.  My greyhound was so excited at the possibility of food, she shoved her nose up my butt to hurry me along.  She’s done this before.  It works.  Cold nose in my butt, I move more quickly to escape [...]

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Musings

And the one, having failed to express anything for thinking the other not interested, causes the other to think the same and therefore to leave.
Hold your cards close.  Show your hand.  Show one card.  Show two.  There seems to be no only answer.  But how much fails to start for the lack in deciding which [...]

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I Know What I Need to Do

I don’t know much, but I know I cannot live here much longer.  I have to go somewhere where it is sunny more than it is in this place.  The summers are beautiful, but they are too short-lived.  It rained most of August this year.  And the other ten months…ouch.  The grey and the mold depresses [...]

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John Mayer and Douchebags

I read John Mayer’s blog post for December 26. It made me laugh. Douchebag. Apparently, google searches for his name and the word douchebag alone bring up quite a few hits. Top on the list was another musician. Several other muscians and actors followed. He discusses the pleasure of the sound of the word, likens [...]

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Little Fish

I made this story up for my daughter one night when she wanted me to tell her a story. The next night, “Tell me the story about Little Fish.” Huh? I had thrown it together on the fly. But she remembered every detail so as I began telling it, she would fix it. Together we [...]

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Church of Freezing

I am starting a new personal religion. Called the Church of Freezing. Why does this damn thing keep doing this? Maybe the computer wants to join too, since it keeps freezing up. Also the church of tired. Go worship in the Church of Freezing and you can build goodwill. You can accomplish anything. Stop trying [...]

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Letter to Brain Restoration Services, LLC

Dear Brain Restoration Services, LLC;
I so much appreciated your letter of December 26, 2007.  Your kindness in letting me know that my brain had been lost in the Bermuda Triangle, and then your further kindness in offering me the $10 gift certificate and possible assistance with employment were both truly above and beyond the call [...]

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Word Jail (or Lara is possibly a mental case, I’m not sure)

My words are being read.  Not by many, but some.  So how truthful will I be in what I say?
This life is surreal.  My new favorite word lately, surreal, because that is how life feels lately.  It is so unfamiliar.  This isn’t a bad thing, I just have no idea how to navigate this alien landscape [...]

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Vanishing Meter

I have a bastard meter in my brain. Well, it is not necessarily fair to call it a “bastard” meter. Perhaps it should be called a Pitiful Loser meter. Or a Guaranteed to Disappear meter. Whatever it is called, it is in my brain and it really works. It is this little meter that turns [...]

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Concatenation

I love that word.  Concatenation.  It just rolls off the tongue.  And I love its meaning.  I love its use in Little Women.  It is a great word.  One of those words I pray is not lost in the mundanity of modern word usage.  I hope that since so many people are posting blogs, it [...]

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Addendum to the Longest Post

I was so tired the other night because it was late when I was writing, so I finally just had to stop.  After I stopped writing, I did some quick google searching for the sites that I did not know.  What I found was surprising.  Most of the sites were socialization and video sharing sites.  Badoo, a top [...]

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